- Lyrics
- Album list
ROOT!
-
Thank God You're Here
Last night I dreamed the Angel of Death Was looming near with a lugubrious leer I could almost smell its cadaverous breath As it whispered in my ear:Thank God you're here, Thank God you're here.
I was pushed through a door to a packed studio I could tell it was Hell from the atmosphere The sulphurous smell of fires below And the audience yelled: Thank God you're here, Thank God you're here.
The stage was full of comedians, cavorting grimly to the crowds applause And incredibly I seemed to be one of them, shaking hands and sharpening claws The finest in the profession of gregarious self obsession St. Peter's dancing for pole position at the center of attention All these friendly guys with daggers in their eyes All hail fellow, well meant, and I hope you die So much bonomy, so much anomie They all had Voodoo dolls that looked suspiciously like me
I seemed to be famous and good looking to boot If you want to be funny, you have to be cute
Hanging on to my keyring - a supermodel plaything Whom I'm currently dating, well until next ratings, I saw Rove on the phone to the States With his caravan trailing, peeling him grapes And the Aussie chick, my charming sidekick Find more lyrics at ※ Mojim.com With a NIDA degree so she can act thick
Another door opened, a crush began The Panel came past carried on a Sedan With supplicants pitching movie treatments Like lepers at the feet of Jesus
I felt my mouth form something banal The audience convulsed in the laughing grand mal I was pushed to the floor, someone stood on my head 'The Chaser's chasing ratings' someone said They held me down, yelled in my ear: 'The dark lord comes Prepare for thy doom ADD Armageddon nears Thou shalt not be the funniest in the room' There was gnashing of teeth and someone weeped And in rode Billy Connoly on a chopper sponsered by ING Cackling and yelling: 'Let's talk about me!'
I woke, flapping, like a fish on a line The nightmare gone; alive and alone Lying in a pool of my own salty brine The ringing in my head morped into my phone My doona, still round my ear, I picked up my phone, brushed a tear It was Henri Root saying, 'Thank God you're here, The Comedy Festival wants us to appear.'
-
|